Slightly Overintoxicated

I got a tad bit drunk last night. OK, more than a tad. I was shit-faced, plastered, blasted, falling-down WASTED. Not a good idea.

After basically spending the entire day doing nothing, I went with Krikor up to Robin's new apartment. Let me first take this moment to thank God I live on the 3rd floor - he's on the top floor of a 7-storey walkup. I cannot imagine lugging heavy objects up that many flights of stairs.

Upon arriving, we were greeted by Robin, Tomoko, and her friend Tarlan. I'm still puzzled by Robin's continuing to live with Tomoko. She cheated on him with a guy in Australia, who she's now engaged to, and he continues to be a friend and roommate to her. I understand that it was probably for the best that she's not dating him anymore, and that it's OK to remain friends in most circumstances, but this is a little over the top. The fact that Robin's even spoken to the Aussie guy on the phone and considers him a friend is even weirder. I really think he needs to get out of there. I was particularly shocked when Tarlan and Tomoko were talking about Tarlan's maid of honor dress and Robin made some sort of comment. "You'd better not be like that at the wedding," Tarlan said. "You have to be my date." He really needs to get out of there.

Anyway, after a few drinks at Robin's, we set off to some bar in the area. It was already after midnight when we got there, and not too crowded, so we had no problem getting a steady supply of alcohol. This is where the problem arose. At some point, I got up to use the bathroom. When I came back, my nearly empty glass had been cleared away. Somewhat annoyed that I hadn't finished my drink, I ordered another one. Big mistake. I wasn't feeling very tipsy at this point, so I figured another bourbon would be OK.

It only took about a minute after I finished that last drink for ALL the alcohol to hit me at once. We were in the process of leaving the bar, when I realized I was having a little trouble navigating. Krikor managed to get a cab, and I nearly passed out on the ride home. We made it upstairs and I went straight to the bathroom to throw up. After a few minutes Krikor knocked on the door to make sure I was OK. I told him I was fine, and he went off to bed. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the bathroom floor with sunlight streaming in through the window.

I picked myself up and nearly fell right back down. The room was spinning like crazy. Apparently, I was still drunk. Very drunk. I got up again, more carefully this time, and stumbled into my bedroom, shoving a few tictacs into my mouth as I fell into bed.

Around noon the phone rang, waking me up. Shit. I was supposed to meet Kahn for brunch and help him study for some corporate finance test.
"Hello."
"Hey Jay, hope you don't mind, but can we reschedule for later tonight? I overslept a bit."
Thank God.
"Sure, no problem, call me later."

At this point, I realize the tictacs I ate earlier are still in my mouth. However, they apparently had dissolved and then reformulated into one large minty blob stuck in the corner of my mouth. Hours later my tongue was still green.

I managed, at this point, to get up out of bed and swallow a few advils. Still intoxicated, I went into the living room and turned on the TV. I put on the History Channel, and proceeded to fade in and out of consciousness while listening to the biography of Benjamin Franklin. It wasn't until about 4PM that I finally felt capable of standing up for any extended period of time.

Things Learned From Last Night's Experience:
1. Don't drink 6 glasses of whiskey on an empty stomach
2. Tarlan dates rich men who she can manipulate
3. Do not attempt to sleep until you have finished your tictacs
4. Benjamin Franklin was big into prostitutes