Message

The callback for the message on my phone was from a New Jersey area code, but the number was unfamiliar. The voice, although strained and shaky, was instantly recognizable.

"Hi, it's me. Remember on Saturday night when I told you I wasn't feeling very well? Well, I went to the hospital yesterday, and they admitted me, and I'm going to be here for a few days. I think you should probably call me."

Lauren.

We've been in touch fairly regularly over the past few months - speaking on the phone several times a week and even seeing each other once every month or so. I don't intend this to be the cause of any speculation regarding the two of us because, honestly, I have no idea if there's anything to speculate about. Intentionally or not, we've completely avoided any discussion of whether there's any "us." Tacitly, we're friends. Who occasionally sleep together when circumstances warrant.

Last week I was mulling over the merits of platony, and had generally decided that I'm still not quite at the stage where I'd like to be in terms of having a serious relationship. I'm still not quite feeling myself after the fallout of the Sharon debacle - more than one person has recently used the word "bitter" when commenting on my description of my last relationship. I was really thinking I'd probably be best off with some non-serious dating, to cleanse the palate as it were. Revisiting past conquests, particularly those that were both emotionally and psychologically taxing, is probably not a good idea for me right now.

Hearing Lauren's unsteady voice on the phone completely shakes the foundation of that plan. She's currently undergoing treatment for a complete systemic bacterial infection, the nature of which is still somewhat unknown. She is on some very heavy antibiotics, and a regular dose of morphine to boot. This is not a trivial course of treatment, and she is understandably shaken.

We spoke for maybe half an hour, before the fatigue and drugs tired her out. Her condition is improving, but she'll be hospitalized for at least two more days as the doctors figure out what exactly is wrong with her. I'll probably take a trip down to NJ later this week to visit. As with all my relationships, I'll play the role of the rocksteady, supportive champion opposite her, the damsel in distress. Atypically, the distress is this time physical, not psychological.